Long time, no see

It's been a while. I don't know if anyone is even reading this. July flew by. I never felt comfortable writing in my blog at home. There was always someone looking over my shoulder or waiting for the computer. But now, it is all dallas, all of the time. This really was an outlet for me at the beginning of the summer, as it helped me to take steps forward in moving on. I saw her for the first time since may yesterday. It brought all of these feelings back, and I am trying to suppress them. By feelings, I don't mean the bad ones, I mean the ones that made me fall in love in the first place. She is as beautiful as ever. She looks so full of life. I am really glad that she is happy. I'm slowly moving on, but it's just weird. I guess it will be for a while. I'm ok with that.
I'm kinda coming out of a hole right now. So much stuff hit me this summer, from the loss of her to my grandmother's bad health. IT felt like nothing would get better for a while. I slipped. I fell into this depression where nothing even mattered. All i would do is get stoned, just so I wouldn't have to think about it. I've never been lke that, but I'm getting better. These things have forced me to grow up. I told myself i never would grow up, and that I would always be a kid at heart, but I guess the depression was a swift kick in the ass. With school around the corner, I have something to put my effort towards. I really don't know how i feel about dating right now. I think I just need to boost my confidence. It is definitely at an all time low. Anyways, what I am getting at is "I am am ready to be knew again, and I am ready to hear you say who I am is quite enough."