As for now

So what a past couple of days. I've gotten to hang out with so many people. I am still hurt, more than you will ever know. These things help pass the day. Friends, work, more friends, more work. It makes healing a little bit better. It doesn't help that I have dreams, and I'm not talking about bad ones. I'm talking about dreams where everything is perfect, dreams where humans can do nothing but love. I've been having these dreams night after night. It still isn't out of my head. Every song, every picture, every thought takes me back to that one place where I gave it everything I had. The only thing that is changing is that I'm becoming less attached to these thoughts. I'm starting to take them with a grain of salt. I guess this is good. She has no intention of changing, so I guess I have to, again.
As for now, I'm looking up. I'm looking to find something new. Something that is going to totally shatter every notion that I have about life. Not a person, but maybe a routine, or activity. I need to get out of this shitty/vegetable/stoned state. It's not me. Everybody has this downtime, right? So she says...